For some, how the US treats mothers is reason enough not to have children. Amy Blackstone, a sociologist at the University of Maine and author of "Childfree by Choice: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence," says the lack of family-friendly policies in the US is one explanation behind the declining birth rate in recent years -- something that the pandemic made even more clear. Over the last year, parents have had to continue working, often without childcare or while having to help their children learn remotely.
The situation has left people stressed and depleted, and perhaps more likely to delay or reconsider having more children.
And we don't really support parents in that role. That was certainly a consideration for Yana Grant, a year-old in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who decided last year to not have children. The US offers no national, paid parental leave program. Child care can be expensive or hard to find. And women are still more likely to shoulder the brunt of parenting responsibilities and household tasks.
Yana Grant, a year-old in Tulsa, Oklahoma, says she made the decision last year to remain child-free. As a Black woman, Grant has other things to worry about, too. Black women are more likely than women of any other race to die of pregnancy-related problems.
They're also more likely to have their concerns dismissed , their pain untreated and their experiences disbelieved. For Grant, those worries are rooted in reality. A few years ago, she felt her heart beating fast and her throat swelling, and went to see a medical professional. She says the doctor told her to stay hydrated and sent her home without checking her thyroid. When she saw another physician for the same symptoms about a year later, she was diagnosed with Graves' disease, an autoimmune disorder that causes an overactive thyroid.
If she got pregnant and something were to go wrong, Grant fears her symptoms and complaints might be similarly dismissed. They like their life as it is. While Jordan Levey focused on law school and building her career, she assumed a "maternal instinct" would eventually kick in. Once she found a partner, she figured, they'd settle down and perhaps decide to have kids.
Now that she's 35 and has been married for four years, Levey says she and her husband have realized they prefer their current lifestyle. They own a condo and are loving parents to their dog. And though they both earn a comfortable living, they'd rather spend their money on the things they love. Jordan Levey says she and her husband have decided that becoming parents wasn't the right choice for them.
Despite social stigmas, Cargle, who fosters a community of nearly 2 million on Instagram , has been open about her choices.
While parenting children is not our desire, child-free people very often love being a part of the community that helps to raise, celebrate and support them. It's a role and opportunity that I and many others take deep joy and value in. Cargle even has a preferred title for like-minded women and has created an online space to celebrate their choice.
A graduate of Penn State University, she began her career in sports and happily wakes up at 6 a. An island transplant originally from the Northeast, she has called Oahu home for nearly 10 years with her husband and two chocolate Labs. Follow her on Instagram. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Could this falling birthrate eventually affect how childfree people are viewed in the US? With plenitude, comes acceptance, even normalcy, until the childfree seem unremarkable — something like that?
It might be unlikely. Throughout history, people without children — women, especially — have often been persecuted, mistreated, pitied, and killed for their perceived lack.
The blows were thought to help women bear children. In Tang Dynasty China, not having a child was once again grounds for divorce.
In the Middle Ages, infertility was believed to be caused by witches or Satan; worse yet, an infertile woman could be accused of being, herself, a witch. Giving birth to too many children could be perilous, too, and grounds, yet again, for being condemned for a witch.
Some of the only times women without offspring have garnered respect might be when they have formally devoted their lives to a god, and to celibacy: nuns, vestal virgins. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: it is enriched, not impoverished.
I used to find this charge bewildering. How can it be selfish not to want? Why does it bother anyone if I refrain? Of course, what can really reduce our carbon footprints is ending our planet-strangling reliance on fossil fuels. To be very selfless, I could move to a less rich land and help raise an entire orphanage. And the upset about the replacement birthrate — part of me is tempted to ask why it matters.
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